Professor Hazard's Terrible Blog
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Doesn't really seem like a lot, but then again it's certainly more than most people accomplish in a month, art-wise. Plus, November still has a couple of weeks left in it.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
If you understand basic arithmetic, you're a NERD. If you can spell at a fifth-grade level, you're a GRAMER FAG. At some point, it became all right for people to not only become appallingly under-educated morons, but proud ones at that. For the most part, they seem to demand the right to ignorance. God help you if you show the slightest hint of adequacy, because these tuber-creatures from the anus of humanity will give you an earful over it.
I don't want to send my kids to school with these dumpster babies. I don't even know what to think about the horrifying idea of them running the world when my generation is too enfeebled to do so. I tell myself that maybe every generation is like this. Maybe every generation thinks the next one down is so stupid that it will leave the world a shambles.
What kills me is their sense of entitlement. OH, YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEIR, THEY'RE AND THERE? No, dipshit, I think that that is something a child should understand. Maybe if you didn't stub up and act like I just called you a racial slur because I implied that you should be as smart as the janitors were in my high school - maybe if you took five goddamn seconds to commit to memory how to spell words, and why they should be spelled that way - but no. You've got some kind of right to acting like...
You know what, I think I'm just going to walk away from this article before it ends with gunfire
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
The old United States of America is dead, but we keep Weekend at Bernie's-ing it, hoping that nobody will notice. But let's face it - rigor mortis has passed, and it's starting to stink in here. We faced a simple choice regarding our country's future - morality or comfort - and I think we all know which one we chose.
This is my political comic for the year. Did it do anything for you?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Listen, you take on certain responsibilities when you wear a man's emblem on your head. One of those is listening to my banter whilst I make bears. What am I supposed to do, sit there quietly? Read a book?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
When I got home today, I saw what happens when a UPS truck breaks down. We saw the truck with its hood open on the way to work, but when I got back I saw that a second truck had joined it - presumably to take its payload - and a tow truck was rolling up to the two of them. Who ever thinks about a UPS truck breaking down?
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
PANEL 1 (Brainfreeze sits at a bar, depressed): So I robbed the 7-11 earlier.
PANEL 2 (Brainfreeze extends hand menacingly): As I was leaving, I pointed at the girl behind the counter and said "Have an ice day."
PANEL 2 (Bartender, off-panel): Didn't Schwarzenegger say that in Batman and Robin?
PANEL 3 (Brainfreeze even more depressed): That's what she asked.
ALT TEXT: For a supervillain, this is basically like contracting cancer.
The more I hammered at it, the more I thought: Damn, this would be so much easier to do - and so much better to look at - if instead of drawings, I just used photographs. Had people dress up as supervillains and do a photo comic strip about the trivialities of their lives.
It would be easy to do, it would be fun to do, it would be fun to read. The setup is the only hard part. The costuming and the hiring of people to play the part. But that "only hard part" is sufficiently hard that the project will never get off the ground. GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE...
Monday, September 29, 2008
I recently inherited a chihuahua. His name was "Mickey", but that name kind of sucked so I changed his name to "Quiero" (as in "Yo quiero Taco Bell"). Since they both have the "kee" sound in them, he has taken to it easily. Now if we could just teach him to pee in the proper place, he'd be a real joy to have around. Luckily, his bladder and bowels are only about the size of a walnut.
I weigh four-hundred and forty-eight pounds this morning, which is about 25 pounds away from where I started my current diet regimen. It feels good to be under 450. I don't know when the last time was that I weighed this little (literally, I don't remember). Why, in a hundred more pounds, I'll be able to safely use most exercise equipment!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Today I felt that need - the need for Chinese feed. So we headed down to 1 Chinese, just down the road from our place. It's run by a lady and her oldest son, who is about twelve. He takes orders over the phone, struggles to reach the drink machine to refill your drinks (that he brings to you with his finger in it), and overall makes the experience a rewarding and amusing one.
As we went up to pay, he was on the phone with someone, and said something about December. After he hung up, I said "What was that about December?" - because it seemed like rather a long time in advance to be placing a lunch order. He thought about it for a moment, then pointed at his missing front tooth and explained that it was missing. His mother (a better English listener than speaker) chattered at him in Chinese, so he looked at me. "Wait, what you ask me, say again?" So I asked again, what was that you said about December, on the phone? "Oh, we get new calendar," he explained. Ahh, the 2009 calendars, I said aloud, to indicate my understanding. "No, 2008 I think," he replied. He looked at his mother and gabbled away in Chinese, with 2008 and 2009 being the only recognizable elements of the sentence. She replied, "Too-sousan-nye!"
He looked up at me and said, "2008!"
At this point, his mother goes into crazy Chinese chatter mode and grabs his head like a melon, and gives it a why-I-oughtta shake. She hollers into his open mouth, "TOO-SOUSAN-NYE!" then looks at us, amused, and says "STOOPEHD!"
I'm sorry, I can't help but laugh.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Snipe Con 2008 was wonderful for many reasons, but this picture may epitomize the experience for me. My friend Replay and I got to cross continental divides and collaborate on a picture for the first time in our ten-year friendship.
Rock Band was the preferred game of the Con, and a lot of fun was had playing it. When trying to decide what I should force Replay to draw with me (and indeed, I finished my side of the picture and then foisted the other blank side of the page on him) the game came to mind. I'm so happy with the result. I may frame the original!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
We're seated and waiting to watch Hellboy II. Later, we may catch Pixar's Wall-E. Reviews to come!
- - -
Hellboy II: The Golden Army: Ol' William of the Bull brings back the goods for his second Hellboy movie, this time featuring new BPRD agent Johann Krauss, voiced by Seth McFarlane (still no movement from Roger the Homunculus, still standing in a tube in the hallway). He's not quite the voice of Claus the fish from American Dad, not quite the voice of the Volkswagen from the VW commercials. Overall, his addition is a worthwhile one, and he brings the laughter more than once. Hellboy and Liz's love story gets a lot of screen time again. At this point, I have come to consider the live action movies to be an alternate reality - WHAT IF...? HELLBOY AND LIZ HOOKED UP? - and everything that's different between the movies and the comics is a result of that union. Needless to say, I prefer the comics. Doug Jones does the voicing for Abe Sapien this time around instead of an uncredited David Hyde Pierce, and he does it admirably. Even John Hurt is back for the beginning of the movie in his role as Trevor Bruttenholm, in a cute look at Hellboy's childhood. Agent Myers got re-assigned to Antarctica, lulz. All in all, it's definitely worth a watch, moreso if you're a fan of Neil Gaiman's faerie-verse as depicted in the Sandman, as you'll pick up some names and references to the same mythology he draws his inspiration from.
Wall-E: A pretty good movie. While it does crib heavily from the "Number Five is Alive" wacky robot shenanigans, the real pleasure of the film is the world that Pixar has created for it to function in - essentially, a world where Wal-Mart took over all aspects of life, leading to Earth becoming uninhabitable. While a bit predictable in parts, it is overall enjoyable. The female lead, EVA, manages to avoid being the typical female character, while also managing to avoid being the other side of the coin - the typical gung-ho don't-take-no-shit female character. Instead, she manages a lovely balance of determination with protocol. Wall-E's pet roach almost makes you want to like the little critters; that is, until you remember that roaches don't really make cute noises or show any signs of intelligence.
Anyways, I don't have graphics or numbers for either of my reviews. Suffice it to say that I enjoyed them both, and I bet you will too.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Camping out at the airport Hampton. This day has been way too long.
EDIT: Okay, so here's the full tale. We had to take Savannah to the Knoxville airport so that she would be there at 6, an hour before her 7 AM flight. (I know, right, why don't they just say "be there at six". Who knows.) So we leave here at 4 AM. This is torturous. I fall asleep many times on the way over there. Luckily, I am a good sleep driver. Finally, we get there, just in time for her to miss her flight. She has to pay $25 to get one an hour later. We grab some McDonald's breakfast, the McDonald's is right next to a Hampton Inn, and I realize there is no way I am driving back home in the condition I'm in. We crash at the Hampton in a $75 room, and sleep until 1:23.
So when I say the day was way too long, I mean it was too long.
Friday, July 4, 2008
I've been watching a lot of Burn Notice lately. It's one of those shows that I always knew I would enjoy watching, but just didn't feel like getting into it. I've been trying to get past that recently. For instance, when the new show In Plain Sight sounded good to me, I set the DVR to begin catching episodes of it.
I haven't watched any of the episodes yet, but hey. Baby steps.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Off to see Kung Fu Panda. I have reserved optimism regarding how much I will enjoy it.
EDIT: So I just got done with Kung Fu Panda. I went into it expecting a pretty good movie - like a Shrek sequel - but what I got was blown away. Graphically pleasing in its every nuance, this movie could be viewed time and time again and still have something for you every time. I wanted to watch it again as soon as it was over, and I don't know what movie has ever done that for me in the past.
My rating stands at 9.5 - the only thing keeping it from a perfect ten being one scene that I thought could have been done slightly better. In point of fact, the scene may have been done that way, but lacked clarification on whether or not it happened. Clarifying it may have made it too much for kids. I dunno. Whatever the case, the movie is a masterpiece. Let's hope it does not get driven into the ground with endless sequels and an animated series.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
This is the third official picture I've done of Electron Ramsey. The third unofficial one was on the Snipe Sketch oekaki. The second one is the one labeled "Electron Ramsey 1999", and the first one is no good. Anyways, I didn't name this one "Electron Ramsey 3" because I didn't want people to think it was the third incarnation of the character. There is only one.
One of the iconic superheroes of Snipe Hunt Media's premiere super-team, the American Furies. According to the Furies' public relations information packet, Electron Ramsey took over the mantle of leadership after the death of the team's original leader, Anthem. The origin of his powers are shrouded in mystery, but many think he channels his powers from the thunder gods of old. He seems to have an inexhaustible supply of electrical energy, which he uses to protect the innocent and uphold the law.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
For whatever reason - we'll assume Replay infected me with something, somehow - when I got home, this fellow came out of my arm and into the tablet. As the sketching commenced, I already had in mind what kind of highlights and transparencies I would want to do later on in the process.
I think I may do a whole series like this, with other ghosts like Haunter and Misdreavus. Suggestions are welcome.
After a grueling sixteen-hour drive, I am back home at my terrible desk. Ten pounds heavier, a little more tan, and with some dark roots showing under my way-too-blonde hair.
I can't blame Booyah's mother entirely for the weight gain; I think I must have grown some muscles in the pool, as I now have some extra energy for simple things like reaching the fan switch from the toilet. Normally this would have taken a great deal of effort, and I might have cried a little.
My awful neighbors were evicted while I was gone, and now I have a nice view to the much nicer trailer that was on the other side of them. It's like a little intangible gift.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
- Got a Deoxys for my Pokémon game at the GameStop this weekend.
- Finished principle photography for two Snipe Hunt videos.
- Ate many a food at many a place and in many a variety.
- Went on a night time adventure to find a Kinko's...
- ... only to discover that what we needed to copy was left at home.
- Got to meet my old friend Replay, outside of his native England for his first trip to the U.S.
- Placed second in a Super Smash Bros. Brawl tournament.
- Placed second in the Snipe Hunt Invitational Trivia Exposition.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Pay no attention to my wife's be-pajamaed legs in the reflection.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Well, in an hour or so I hope to be out the door and on the road. Got to stop at Mom's house to do some upkeep, and then it's down the Interstate we go.
I don't guess we're printing out directions; we'll just let the TomTom do all the work. He sometimes makes some unwise decisions, but he got us there last time.
The MAX Virus puppet is about 75% done at this point. Basically what that means is that he's done enough for us to take him on the road and finish him up at Casa de Booyah. I hope to get some good videos made with him, as it has been too long since the video aspect of the "media" at Snipe Hunt Media has been addressed.
Bleached my hair for the con... bleached it a little too well. Now I sort of look like I've been electrified. If I get out in the sunlight, I will probably look like some kind of fat angel with a corona of yellow plasma radiating from his head. Perhaps wearing goggles or sunglasses on my forehead will lessen the effect.
Was hoping to finish Snipe Hunt! #2 before leaving, but I reckon it ain't meant to be. Oh well, there's always time when I get back.
The aforementioned Daimyo is now two for two in Alterac Valley wins. He had nothing to do with them, mind you, but it's still a good spread.
EDIT: Three for three. Now that the initial quests are getting out of the way, I was able to be of some use in Drek'thar's chamber. I also got my [Stormpike Insignia Rank 2].
EDIT: Four for four.
EDIT: Five for five. I'll stop updating at this point. Just continue to assume that the Alliance is unstoppable.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Now, I've always been a LiveJournal man. No muss, no fuss. And who wants to try to make all of one's friends migrate over to another blogging service? Regardless, after some research into the process of posting updates from the road for the upcoming Snipe Con 2008 road trip, Blogger was the man of the hour. So here we are.
- ► 2009 (14)
- ► October (5)
- ► September (5)
- Geeky Bowser, as seen here (and, by way of origin,...
- It's a secret to everybody.
- Cork Board!
- Re: The Dark Knight
- Stayed up all night watching Star Trek and re-arra...
- Pluckan Gaems
- Señor Booyah IN ACTION!!
- Professor Fandango IN ACTION!!
- It's movie time!
- After doing some rudimentary math, I have determin...
- Camping out at the airport
- I've been watching a lot of Burn Notice lately. It...
- Wow. I just saw Law & Order's Mariska Hargitay on ...
- Off to see Kung-Fu Panda.
- Electron Ramsey
- Ugly little spud, isn't he?
- Home again, home again, jiggity jog
- The TV at breakfast shows me CBS's Saturday mornin...
- Bedding down at the Hampton Inn in Mt. Juliet. Lov...
- WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA
- The time, it does fly.
- Arf arf
- Hangin' with Mister Booper
- Congrabulations! I grabulated!
- Crashed into front of house,
- A little ways outside Little
- Traffic slowed to a crawl
- I drove 17 extra miles
- The moon does not shine
- Grabbing some McDonald's at Strawberry
- That damn battery light has
- Parked at Mom's; boy, am
- Headed out! We'll see the
- One quick note
- HITTAN THE BRI/x/
- GRINDAN GAEMS
- MEATAN GAEMS
- PHONE-BLOGGAN GAEMS
- BLOGGAN GAEMS