In Your Face(book)

A relative of mine decided to brighten up everyone's Facebook browsing with the following completely original content gem:

For my Savior, Jesus Christ, A new Facebook challenge...I am out to prove that
my friends will repost, I hope I am right!!! Let's lift up HIS name and make a
statement!! When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of You and Me. If you
are not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, copy and repost. I am not ashamed

I stopped myself from replying in kind with this response:

Sorry everyone, but I'm too ashamed to admit to my bromance with Jesus Christ.
If only He had known as He died on that cross that I would be too big a sissy
to cave in to Facebook peer pressure in order to spread His gospel, He would
have died of embarrassment instead of his other grievous mortal wounds! Repost
this if you are a callow, spineless man and can't succeed in guilting other
people into perpetuating your religious chain letter.

As much as I began to imagine, and relish in, the idea of her fuming rage, I decided that for once I would control my angry tongue, and just post this where nobody would see it: my blog. Hooray!

Watchmen, I died a little tonight.

A moment of toilet brilliance led to the creation of this comic. My parents will be so proud of me for making a new comic that features a bodily function.

Some days I'm ready to throw in the towel.

It's gotten bad these days, people.

If you understand basic arithmetic, you're a NERD. If you can spell at a fifth-grade level, you're a GRAMER FAG. At some point, it became all right for people to not only become appallingly under-educated morons, but proud ones at that. For the most part, they seem to demand the right to ignorance. God help you if you show the slightest hint of adequacy, because these tuber-creatures from the anus of humanity will give you an earful over it.

I don't want to send my kids to school with these dumpster babies. I don't even know what to think about the horrifying idea of them running the world when my generation is too enfeebled to do so. I tell myself that maybe every generation is like this. Maybe every generation thinks the next one down is so stupid that it will leave the world a shambles.

What kills me is their sense of entitlement. OH, YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEIR, THEY'RE AND THERE? No, dipshit, I think that that is something a child should understand. Maybe if you didn't stub up and act like I just called you a racial slur because I implied that you should be as smart as the janitors were in my high school - maybe if you took five goddamn seconds to commit to memory how to spell words, and why they should be spelled that way - but no. You've got some kind of right to acting like...

You know what, I think I'm just going to walk away from this article before it ends with gunfire