Chameleon's Dilemma

No search fragments?

2010-12-09T07:11:00.001-08:00

I'm a little disappointed that, when searching for an itinerary from Allegiant Air, if I type "alleg" in the search bar, nothing comes up. I thought I'd save a little time by not typing in the full word, but doing so caused me to get no results and have to search again. Isn't this a little counter-intuitive?

in reference to: Search - Gmail Help (view on Google Sidewiki)

Things to Do While Bored in a Parking Lot: #542

2010-05-02T11:37:00.001-07:00

In Your Face(book)

2010-03-30T17:56:00.000-07:00

A relative of mine decided to brighten up everyone's Facebook browsing with the following completely original content gem:

For my Savior, Jesus Christ, A new Facebook challenge...I am out to prove that
my friends will repost, I hope I am right!!! Let's lift up HIS name and make a
statement!! When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of You and Me. If you
are not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, copy and repost. I am not ashamed

I stopped myself from replying in kind with this response:

Sorry everyone, but I'm too ashamed to admit to my bromance with Jesus Christ.
If only He had known as He died on that cross that I would be too big a sissy
to cave in to Facebook peer pressure in order to spread His gospel, He would
have died of embarrassment instead of his other grievous mortal wounds! Repost
this if you are a callow, spineless man and can't succeed in guilting other
people into perpetuating your religious chain letter.

As much as I began to imagine, and relish in, the idea of her fuming rage, I decided that for once I would control my angry tongue, and just post this where nobody would see it: my blog. Hooray!

Do I Need a Star Trek Fan Character?

2010-02-11T05:50:00.000-08:00

As a Trekkie, I feel a little sad that I don't have a fan-made ship or whatever like a lot of the Trekkies do. I had invented one, years ago, but unsurprisingly it was very self-referential and I was the captain of it. And it was some kind of exploratory special forces so of course I'd be an even better captain than any other captain and they'd see me as their equal and invite me to parties. Forget that noise! I want a fan character base of operations I can be proud of, and I bet the new Star Trek online game doesn't even offer it as an option, instead saddling you with a ship and a crew so you can be a captain among a million captains.

No, if I had it all to do again - and I do, every day! - I'd choose a stationary locale as my base of operations, either a Deep Space station or a planetary research station. I probably wouldn't choose to be Starfleet, either, which speaks more to my own personal development as someone whose style stands on its own. In fact I have trouble seeing myself as anything other than myself - black and yellow accented coat with wild hair and beard. I love who I am nowadays. My wife loves who I am nowadays. I'm beginning to think that fan characters are an escapist habit of people who can't tolerate their own reflections - or are afraid to forge their reflection into what they want it to look like.

FINAL VERDICT: No. I do not need a Star Trek fan character. Long story short, I'm happy enough watching the exploits of the Star Trek universe from a viewer's perspective. I can go to conventions in my regular outfit, which is so unique that people stare at me all the day long. This was a completely pointless blog post; I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Which was VERY LITTLE INDEED.

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego Buried

2009-11-19T10:57:00.000-08:00

Finally, a comic for that subset of people who need to see their fandoms of computer sleuthing games and Coen brothers films combined.

The Self-Sustaining Threeble

2009-09-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

If an outside intelligence observed the goings-on at my community college over the course of a day, they would likely determine that, based on average intelligence, most humans would not make it to age thirty before expiring of stupidity-related consequences.

If the parking situation is not enough, mull on this for a bit. I saw a man stumble and fall off of the sidewalk while he was texting.

While I waited a half-hour for a parking place, nearly being rammed several times by people who feel they must get the nose of their car into an available parking place before the preceding car is fully out, I played some Brain Age Express: Sudoku while idling in a faculty parking place. (A girl saw me stopped there and gleefully parked beside me before heading into the school. She will have a parking ticket when she comes back out.) As I played, a logical situation that my brain automatically termed the "self-sustaining threeble" presented itself to me in the game. It works like this:

Because the middle row of possible numbers all sort of rely on each other for their eventual existence, the bottom space is clearly available to the missing number eight. I wonder if the Japanese have their own name for it. I also wonder what "sudoku" means in Japanese. I would have just named the game "puzzuru".

Back to school, back to school.

2009-08-27T08:52:00.000-07:00

I start school again on Monday with a mixture of resignation and an adjective a tier lower than "excitement". I can't really say I'm excited about it. All things considered, I'd rather not go. But I do derive a lot of satisfaction from going to classes with Christina, because as long as she's around it's a pretty good time, I have a good chance of learning something, and it's basically guaranteed that my own apathy towards the educational system won't get me dropped out or failed.

This will be our last semester at Northeast State, after which we will have drafting certificates that in theory will open doors for us into the world of AutoCAD engineering. At that point, we can't sign up for a job at the same time, share the same cubicle. Nobody's going to hire us as a package deal if they hire us at all. So not only do I have the weight of the job market sitting on my shoulders, I also get to know that if I get hired, I have to solo it. That'll be me, in a position that somebody else probably deserves more, not really knowing what the hell I'm doing and possibly holding up the entire project's show because of it. Meanwhile, thanks to 21st century values, if Christina does get hired at the same place it will be to shuffle papers around, not to actually work on the computer - despite the fact that she has more natural aptitude for it than I do.

No, right now she's getting paid plenty at her job at Stellar Studios. She'll actually be getting less hours so that she can go to school to get a certificate for a job that won't give her the same opportunities she has at her current job.

What do I want? The only thing I've ever wanted. To draw pictures when it pleases me to do so, and to find entertainment for the rest of the time that it doesn't.

NOW IS ROOMMATE KILLING TIME

2009-06-18T11:54:00.001-07:00

Slowpoke are commonly found at the water's edge.

2009-05-19T09:52:00.001-07:00

Sometimes everything about a dream can be all wrong, but in the end it's somehow just right.

In the beginning, I was fishing. I was near another guy, but he didn't mind the company. (Was he my grandfather? I've always held a grudge that he took my brother fishing and not me.) As I cast, I landed something big, which I assumed was a piece of debris under the water. So I gave it some slack to float away from the debris, and pulled again - but it was a catch, all right, and a big wide mouth came out of the water. With a mighty yank, I managed to pull what I thought was a huge bass out of the shallow inlet, but it turned out to be a Slowpoke - a very realistic Slowpoke, which looked more like a pink water bear. And the longer it was out of the water, the more it dried up from its original housecat-like size into a small, skittering miniature version! I pulled my DSi from its holster and immediately began snapping pics, but never got one that would have been good enough for Professor Oak.

As I went into the marina, I began to realize that I was at a very crappy Pokémon theme park; crappy as in low quality, but I was never discontent in feeling while I was there. I passed by a group of three people my age, one of whom had ordered the Slowpoke Tail from the place's diner. It was really just a foldover with some ham and cheese inside. As I sat with the people, I mentioned that this place would be a lot better if they had a Team Rocket section of the park, and was informed that I was sitting in it. Sure enough, Rs had been half-assedly painted all about to infer that this was the Team Rocket area. I also overheard a female hostess saying that there would be a Team Rocket impressions contest in about five minutes.

The whole area was just folding tables in a cheap "party room" type layout, so I gave the hostess some suggestions about how to improve it, which were taken good-naturedly. I then ordered myself a Slowpoke Tail, went outside where it was now raining, and got in a van with my family. My dad turned to tell me that some old thing or another had gone wrong, something about a key being mailed back to us, so we would have to go to a place. But I didn't care, and woke up with a smile on my face.

Who is the Monster and Who is the Man

2009-05-08T09:29:00.000-07:00

I laugh every time I get to the final panel of this comic, and at the end of the day, I guess that's what really matters. Wait, it isn't? SHIT

Block Bank!

2009-04-07T08:59:00.000-07:00

Last night in bed, all my musings about the nature of how Nintendo should handle Achievements came together, finally, to make a system that not only will work, but will revolutionize the way people play Nintendo games - and with the right minds behind it, it will be easy. This is an idea freely given to Nintendo, with, at best, a hope that my name could be included in the developer's credits.

For both the DSi and the Wii, we have the Block Bank, downloadable from both systems' stores. Iconized on the menus by the familiar Super Mario Bros. question block, the Block Bank is a museum of your achievements that is browsable by game title. For events that you have not yet completed, a description or hint about them is available, written beside a question block. Once they are activated, the block disappears and an item or small picture representing the event appears.

Block Bank doesn't run in the background of your games. Instead, when you go into the Block Bank, you prompt it to scan your game files and look for benchmark events that it can reward you for. Once they're found, the familiar "per-toink!" of a question block being hit is shown, and the block is opened. If it was me, I would also make it so that each block that is activated credits the user's Club Nintendo account with one coin.

The Block Bank can also include exclamation point blocks which represent milestones in how many question blocks you've opened. When you get 25 or 50, for instance, an exclamation block can pop and reveal, for instance, a classic Game and Watch game that you can play with your Mii. Other exclamation block prizes could be special videos with animations of Nintendo characters, or small puzzle games that could be beamed wirelessly to the DSi. Another reward could be your own Block Bank ATM card, similar to the Xbox's gamer cards. This style of mini-prizes is not dissimilar to the bonus things that were found on the eReader cards of several years ago.

The inclusion of this system would revitalize interest in games that have been considered completed, but in truth could have statistical challenges that are not yet met. This is good for Nintendo and good for the players, as it could increase game sales as well as renew gamers' enjoyment of Nintendo products. Please contact me if there is anything else I can do to help herald the creation of this system.

Stand-Up Comedian

2009-03-18T12:45:00.000-07:00

A lot of people tell me that I should become a stand-up comedian. However, I am not that great at public speaking. It's not that I'm nervous, it's just that my palate is built weird or something, and my voice doesn't carry further than two feet away from my head. A microphone would eliminate that problem; however, perhaps because I am so out of shape in the talking department, my throat begins to feel bruised if I talk aloud for more than a few minutes. I am a terrible mishmash of God's spare parts. Anyways, here is some comedy that occurred to me earlier when I misheard something.

You know how some people have Type O blood? George W. Bush is so dumb that his blood type is a typo.

(mimicking a doctor checking a readout) All right, Mr. President, it says here your blood type is... "H"? What?

I Made a Mistake Today

2009-03-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

... by going to the local Long John Silvers. The advertisements had convinced me it would be all right - grilled fish! Healthy side dishes! A bed of rice!

What can I say? The first thing I noticed about the place was the thick air of desperation. A large, sullen youth was sweeping the floor in front of the door as I entered. I volleyed off a hearty "How ya doin?!", which was met with grim silence.

As we stood, awaiting our order, we observed a dining room full of grey people who ate with neither speed or joy. There was no conversation to be noticed. A thin film of grime seemed to cover everything and everyone.

After we sat down with our food, I began to wonder if it would be doing a lot of people a favor to burn the place down later that night.

Fourteen dollars worth of food got neither of us full and both of us queasy. We will not ever return to that restaurant.

Crack, Pow, Done

2009-02-23T09:46:00.001-08:00

I was originally trying to make the title of this blog entry a play on "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" by replacing "Stella" with "Daniel" and "Groove Back" with "Back Tooth" and then I realized that it was just a big hot tranny mess and gave up on it.

So my top wisdom teeth had to come out. Went in, got numbed up (the worst part of which was the punching-a-hole noise of the big metal hypodermic delivering numbing agents into my gums) and then hung out for a while. The chair offered very little arm support, so my options were to cross my hands on my stomach, or have them dangle sadly on either side of the chair. I ended up doing both, several times, as well as occasionally texting Christina to alleviate the monotony. They wouldn't let her come in with me - which was probably a blessing for her - but being able to contact her over text was enough to keep me tethered away from the world of panic I could feel myself slowly floating towards.

And then it began. Turning my head, reaching in, and applying what I logically knew was too much pressure - this much pressure should not be exerted on me, I worried - I felt my palate buckle and rock like a suspension bridge in high winds, and out came one. A turn, a wiggle, more torsion, and pow, the second. After all the dread and the twenty or so minutes of waiting, the entire ordeal lasted all of five minutes. Packed the holes with gauze and sent me on my merry way. The only thing I did all the while was assure the doctor I felt no pain, and laugh uncomfortably when a tooth was ripped from my skull.

I laughed a lot of the way home. They didn't give me nitrous oxide - it was just so absurd, the sensation of having your teeth ripped out. What was there to do but laugh? I even got to see the poor bloody things laying on the tray.

The new tooth configuration feels pretty good, like loosening your belt a notch. I don't envy myself the terrible pain that is assuredly on the horizon, but that's what Demerol is for.

Wii Fit (or, Dog Chasing for Fun and Profit (Prof Fit?!))

2009-02-17T14:06:00.001-08:00

Christina finally buckled down and got Wii Fit, which was both good and bad for me. It's good because I love Nintendo and want to lose weight with its help, but it's bad because I weigh too much to use the Balance Board.

Eventually figuring she would just use her own weight as a proxy under my profile on the game, I decided instead that I wanted a more realistic view of my weight. So I had the terrible idea to have her stand on it while wearing a backpack full of books and hand weights on her belly, and holding two jugs of liquid in her hands. We fooled the game into realizing that my body mass index should be at the very top of Obese, and I felt more like it was suited to me. However, it still thinks I only weigh about 270 pounds.

Once we got past that part of the process, I got to do what I really wanted to do - jogging in place! You don't have to stand on the Balance Board. Instead, you just put a Wiimote in your pocket, and its movements sense your pace. I jogged for 15 minutes straight, and since I never actually lift my feet up, there was no impact on my tender tootsies. But don't think that I was cheating - I got all sweatied up, and kept my heartrate up for the duration of that time. It was great! I look forward to playing more often.

Whoops, I almost forgot to mention the dog chasing. James informed me that if you pass your jogging trainer when the cute little Fisher-Price dog passes you, you can chase the dog, instead! By the time I was done, I got to the point that I had tangented off after three different dogs. It was really fun!

Dream Journal - 5 FEB 2009

2009-02-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

I had discovered a small abandoned Disney theme park, and/or inherited it. It was tailored to fit me - for instance, there was a miniature bank inside, labeled the Bank of Eric. But at any rate, it was empty, and I was not wealthy.

Passing a fresco of the Magic Kingdom, I ran my finger alone the top of one of its walls to see if I could find my bank card - and indeed, I found something, but it was a folded up work order signed in either mayonnaise or White-Out by Christian Bale. I know I was in financial straits because I flounced it in front of my family, bragging about how he was "hot right now" and thus his signature on any paper would be worth a lot of money. He signed his name with little wings at the side, like the Dan Halen logo. I imagine the white signature manifested in dream land as I had made a large amount of pasta salad the previous day.

Some time passed and apparently I had figured out how to hide the letter inside the main castle keep, which had to be opened by traversing some mini-golf-esque greens that floated on water, culminating with one set that rotated around a central hub. I remember my father was there, and I remember that I worried that he would be disappointed in me if his shoes became wet from this, as it was a frivolity and thus I was a letdown as usual for bringing him to a place that his shoes might get wet. This does not reflect on how my father acts in real life, but does reflect on how much of a failure I see myself as in his and my mother's eyes.

After a way-too-complex system of entering the main keep, I came to find that the keep was a bit of a museum for comedy, with pictures on the walls and spaces for more pictures. I know time had passed and I had been there already, because a portrait of Larry and Balki hung in one spot (it must have been a concession I made to Christina). Around the long table in the center sat comedians in high-backed chairs; David Spade sat at one, talking seriously about events in his life, and I knew that this must be some secret club I was privy to, where comedians spoke as real people. Sort of like a Friar's Club, but instead of seeing comedians tear each other apart for sport, this was just a place for them to be regular people. I think the root of this group's appearance in my dreams is that I began commenting on Acheworld, the Achewood discussion area, and my absence before recently had been noted. It felt good to be among people who recognized me and shared my sense of humor.

There was a glass-top coffee table there whose main feature was a pewter, two-foot long sculpture of a terrified man or child, hands thrust against the glass. I recognized this table from a previous dream, and began to feel comfortable. But unfortunately, that is also when the reality of the dream began to unravel.

I was especially disappointed to wake up, because of several factors. I love Disney parks. I love comedians. I love feeling like I belong somewhere, and I love owning something that other people can use. My sense of loss upon waking was palpable. I felt so angry at the loss of this wonderful place that I began to wonder if I should really change my life, to put away childish things and stop dreaming of things I will never attain.

Submersiball

2009-01-27T06:40:00.001-08:00

Cork Board (January 2009)

2009-01-10T12:01:00.001-08:00

We haven't seen my cork board in a while; what have we got on it nowadays?

Clockwise from upper left (click to enlarge):
- a swatch of rainbow coloration that my youngest fan, Rowan, saw fit to give me,
- my Perler Professor Hazard, a gift from Brainfreeze,
- a caveman-published anti-Geico propaganda ad that I got in the mail,
- Rowan's mom Heather's business card,
- a big red thumbtack that serves as a dock for our back-scratcher,
- my OMNICORE ID card,
- Christina's business card,
- a beautiful picture of Christina and I, drawn by Rowan,
- a terrifying knitted monster given to me by Rowan,
- my Screwloose Bootleg portrait of Professor Hazard, from Snipe Con 2008,
- a little comic from Achewood that came with some merchandise from there,
- a coupon for a free comic book at Mountain Empire Comics,
- another picture of Christina and I, by Rowan,
- a yellow-and-black crayon tornado, by Rowan,
- a coupon that says "KEEP THIS COUPON",
- and in the middle, some little Japanese papers that came with little Japanese toys.

I love my cork board. Passing by it every day makes me feel a little better.

Watchmen, I died a little tonight.

2008-12-31T22:01:00.000-08:00

A moment of toilet brilliance led to the creation of this comic. My parents will be so proud of me for making a new comic that features a bodily function.

Gettin' Bushy

2008-12-07T09:49:00.000-08:00

My wife threatened to beat me if I didn't make this comic, after I pitched the premise to her. I don't think it's that great, but she laughed so hard she pooped a little, so.

November Arts

2008-11-19T22:42:00.000-08:00

Doesn't really seem like a lot, but then again it's certainly more than most people accomplish in a month, art-wise. Plus, November still has a couple of weeks left in it.

Some days I'm ready to throw in the towel.

2008-11-09T19:40:00.000-08:00

It's gotten bad these days, people.

If you understand basic arithmetic, you're a NERD. If you can spell at a fifth-grade level, you're a GRAMER FAG. At some point, it became all right for people to not only become appallingly under-educated morons, but proud ones at that. For the most part, they seem to demand the right to ignorance. God help you if you show the slightest hint of adequacy, because these tuber-creatures from the anus of humanity will give you an earful over it.

I don't want to send my kids to school with these dumpster babies. I don't even know what to think about the horrifying idea of them running the world when my generation is too enfeebled to do so. I tell myself that maybe every generation is like this. Maybe every generation thinks the next one down is so stupid that it will leave the world a shambles.

What kills me is their sense of entitlement. OH, YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEIR, THEY'RE AND THERE? No, dipshit, I think that that is something a child should understand. Maybe if you didn't stub up and act like I just called you a racial slur because I implied that you should be as smart as the janitors were in my high school - maybe if you took five goddamn seconds to commit to memory how to spell words, and why they should be spelled that way - but no. You've got some kind of right to acting like...

You know what, I think I'm just going to walk away from this article before it ends with gunfire

Spur of the Moment Responsibility

2008-10-29T13:12:00.000-07:00

Responsibility makes me crumple like a cat with a sock draped across its back. But if the same task I am asked or expected to do is thought of on the spur of the moment, I can jump right out the door and get to it - because I love the idea of surprising people. But there are no surprises with routine expectations. I wish I could find a way of doing things that people want me to do, in a way that made me felt like I was being a sly little so-and-so by doing them.

These Colors Can't Run

2008-10-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

The old United States of America is dead, but we keep Weekend at Bernie's-ing it, hoping that nobody will notice. But let's face it - rigor mortis has passed, and it's starting to stink in here. We faced a simple choice regarding our country's future - morality or comfort - and I think we all know which one we chose.

This is my political comic for the year. Did it do anything for you?

Raise Your Hand if You've Done This

2008-10-21T10:57:00.000-07:00

Listen, you take on certain responsibilities when you wear a man's emblem on your head. One of those is listening to my banter whilst I make bears. What am I supposed to do, sit there quietly? Read a book?

What's that squealing noise...?

2008-10-16T07:18:00.000-07:00

Today, while stopped at a red light, I heard this odd, high-pitched squeal. I began to wonder; is it a fan belt? Axles shouldn't be squeaking while I'm stopped... I looked down at the chihuahua resting in the crook of my arm. Was the dog squeaking? I pulled on his stretchy skin to see if the squeaking would get louder, but he just looked at me, confused. Then I looked to the right and saw the car full of women, aged fifty to fifteen, who were staring into my car and squealing, faces full of joy. I set Quiero down on the seat so he could look out the window at them, and the squealing intensified. I began to become intensely aware of how long a red light can last. For a short time, I knew what it was like to be a celebrity.

When I got home today, I saw what happens when a UPS truck breaks down. We saw the truck with its hood open on the way to work, but when I got back I saw that a second truck had joined it - presumably to take its payload - and a tow truck was rolling up to the two of them. Who ever thinks about a UPS truck breaking down?

Sword Crashers

2008-10-08T20:51:00.000-07:00

I tried to make a video playback of this drawing, but since it took something like six hours, the resultant file was so big it was crushed under its own weight. Despite that, please enjoy.

What I'd like to do, but lack the resources

2008-09-30T08:54:00.001-07:00

I worked up a little three-panel comic today, that I ended up being discontent with because I couldn't make it look just how I wanted.

PANEL 1 (Brainfreeze sits at a bar, depressed): So I robbed the 7-11 earlier.
PANEL 2 (Brainfreeze extends hand menacingly): As I was leaving, I pointed at the girl behind the counter and said "Have an ice day."
PANEL 2 (Bartender, off-panel): Didn't Schwarzenegger say that in Batman and Robin?
PANEL 3 (Brainfreeze even more depressed): That's what she asked.

ALT TEXT: For a supervillain, this is basically like contracting cancer.

The more I hammered at it, the more I thought: Damn, this would be so much easier to do - and so much better to look at - if instead of drawings, I just used photographs. Had people dress up as supervillains and do a photo comic strip about the trivialities of their lives.

It would be easy to do, it would be fun to do, it would be fun to read. The setup is the only hard part. The costuming and the hiring of people to play the part. But that "only hard part" is sufficiently hard that the project will never get off the ground. GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE...

Quiero!

2008-09-29T06:35:00.000-07:00

I recently inherited a chihuahua. His name was "Mickey", but that name kind of sucked so I changed his name to "Quiero" (as in "Yo quiero Taco Bell"). Since they both have the "kee" sound in them, he has taken to it easily. Now if we could just teach him to pee in the proper place, he'd be a real joy to have around. Luckily, his bladder and bowels are only about the size of a walnut.

I weigh four-hundred and forty-eight pounds this morning, which is about 25 pounds away from where I started my current diet regimen. It feels good to be under 450. I don't know when the last time was that I weighed this little (literally, I don't remember). Why, in a hundred more pounds, I'll be able to safely use most exercise equipment!

Red VS Blue

2008-09-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

Wish Fulfillment Dreams!

2008-09-17T05:45:00.000-07:00

I hate 'em.

Last night I dreamed that I was in a World of Warcraft-esque world, which began with me consulting my map and deciding that I was going to venture into the lands south of what was marked on my map as my old high school, Dobyns-Bennett. With me was a klutzy female companion of some kind who I do not recognize. She seemed to be wearing the robe and hood of a magic user of some sort.

So into that southern land we ventured. The land seemed to be a dark, dragon's-mountain-dungeon sort of land, controlled by her father, who I recall was named something like "Boros". Boros was about seven feet tall and classified as an "Icon" by the game's identification system. He happily volunteered to single-handedly run me through a difficult dungeon, and said that later he didn't see any reason why he couldn't use his vast empire to help me publish comic books and t-shirts of my design.

It was around this time that the logical part of my brain began to say "too much of a good thing", and I awoke, irritated.

I ran a red light!

2008-09-09T06:12:00.001-07:00

... and at any other time of day would have been unceremoniously t-boned, but luckily it was bleary-eyes o'clock this morning in downtown Johnson City and nobody was around except for me and the truck rumbling toward me that indicated I was running a red light. When his deceleration did not occur, I craned my head around my irritatingly low car ceiling, saw the red light, flashed a hurried "I'm sorry" wave to the truck, and squirted on through.

I had stopped at the traffic light while it was green to let Christina out of the car, and I guess a part of me just assumed it would remain green all the while. Whoopsy-daisy!

I have to go to Kingsport for dental shenanigans later today, and I really don't want to. I imagine that's where my mind was when it should have been concentrating on the duration of traffic signals.

TOO-SOUSAN-NYE! STOOPEHD!

2008-08-23T16:44:00.000-07:00

Today I felt that need - the need for Chinese feed. So we headed down to 1 Chinese, just down the road from our place. It's run by a lady and her oldest son, who is about twelve. He takes orders over the phone, struggles to reach the drink machine to refill your drinks (that he brings to you with his finger in it), and overall makes the experience a rewarding and amusing one.

As we went up to pay, he was on the phone with someone, and said something about December. After he hung up, I said "What was that about December?" - because it seemed like rather a long time in advance to be placing a lunch order. He thought about it for a moment, then pointed at his missing front tooth and explained that it was missing. His mother (a better English listener than speaker) chattered at him in Chinese, so he looked at me. "Wait, what you ask me, say again?" So I asked again, what was that you said about December, on the phone? "Oh, we get new calendar," he explained. Ahh, the 2009 calendars, I said aloud, to indicate my understanding. "No, 2008 I think," he replied. He looked at his mother and gabbled away in Chinese, with 2008 and 2009 being the only recognizable elements of the sentence. She replied, "Too-sousan-nye!"

He looked up at me and said, "2008!"

At this point, his mother goes into crazy Chinese chatter mode and grabs his head like a melon, and gives it a why-I-oughtta shake. She hollers into his open mouth, "TOO-SOUSAN-NYE!" then looks at us, amused, and says "STOOPEHD!"

I'm sorry, I can't help but laugh.

2008-07-31T10:14:00.000-07:00

Geeky Bowser, as seen here (and, by way of origin, here). He's taken his place in history, among the other plushes and figures inspired by my comics.

It's a secret to everybody.

2008-07-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

Cork Board!

2008-07-22T23:06:00.001-07:00

Check out my new corkboard! I love presenting the illusion of organization.

Re: The Dark Knight

2008-07-18T10:48:00.001-07:00

Heath Ledger's Joker was a legendary performance - unfortunately, one to never be reprised. Bale's Batman voice, on the other hand, is unforgivably stupid.

2008-07-15T06:23:00.001-07:00

Stayed up all night watching Star Trek and re-arranging the house. Now taking wife out for shopping and brunch. Vitality! I can't remember the last time I felt so full of energy. My new diet is a wonder! Now to destroy all progress at the Chinese buffet.

Pluckan Gaems

2008-07-14T23:25:00.000-07:00

Snipe Con 2008 was wonderful for many reasons, but this picture may epitomize the experience for me. My friend Replay and I got to cross continental divides and collaborate on a picture for the first time in our ten-year friendship.

Rock Band was the preferred game of the Con, and a lot of fun was had playing it. When trying to decide what I should force Replay to draw with me (and indeed, I finished my side of the picture and then foisted the other blank side of the page on him) the game came to mind. I'm so happy with the result. I may frame the original!

Señor Booyah IN ACTION!!

2008-07-13T20:31:00.001-07:00

Booyah finally cashed in an old commission he had won, so he got himself a picture in the IN ACTION!! series.

Professor Fandango IN ACTION!!

2008-07-11T17:56:00.000-07:00

My side of an art trade that I'm doing with my friend Replay. His gallery, including many pictures of myself and my characters, can be found here.

It's movie time!

2008-07-11T08:58:00.001-07:00

We're seated and waiting to watch Hellboy II. Later, we may catch Pixar's Wall-E. Reviews to come!

- - -

Hellboy II: The Golden Army: Ol' William of the Bull brings back the goods for his second Hellboy movie, this time featuring new BPRD agent Johann Krauss, voiced by Seth McFarlane (still no movement from Roger the Homunculus, still standing in a tube in the hallway). He's not quite the voice of Claus the fish from American Dad, not quite the voice of the Volkswagen from the VW commercials. Overall, his addition is a worthwhile one, and he brings the laughter more than once. Hellboy and Liz's love story gets a lot of screen time again. At this point, I have come to consider the live action movies to be an alternate reality - WHAT IF...? HELLBOY AND LIZ HOOKED UP? - and everything that's different between the movies and the comics is a result of that union. Needless to say, I prefer the comics. Doug Jones does the voicing for Abe Sapien this time around instead of an uncredited David Hyde Pierce, and he does it admirably. Even John Hurt is back for the beginning of the movie in his role as Trevor Bruttenholm, in a cute look at Hellboy's childhood. Agent Myers got re-assigned to Antarctica, lulz. All in all, it's definitely worth a watch, moreso if you're a fan of Neil Gaiman's faerie-verse as depicted in the Sandman, as you'll pick up some names and references to the same mythology he draws his inspiration from.

Wall-E: A pretty good movie. While it does crib heavily from the "Number Five is Alive" wacky robot shenanigans, the real pleasure of the film is the world that Pixar has created for it to function in - essentially, a world where Wal-Mart took over all aspects of life, leading to Earth becoming uninhabitable. While a bit predictable in parts, it is overall enjoyable. The female lead, EVA, manages to avoid being the typical female character, while also managing to avoid being the other side of the coin - the typical gung-ho don't-take-no-shit female character. Instead, she manages a lovely balance of determination with protocol. Wall-E's pet roach almost makes you want to like the little critters; that is, until you remember that roaches don't really make cute noises or show any signs of intelligence.

Anyways, I don't have graphics or numbers for either of my reviews. Suffice it to say that I enjoyed them both, and I bet you will too.

(>.<);;

2008-07-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

2008-07-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

After doing some rudimentary math, I have determined that it would cost less to buy a passport and drive to Canada for health care than it would be to get a full workup at my local hospital. I've been having a lot of chest and arm pain recently, and have been thinking an EKG might be a good idea. I am just imagining them telling me that it is a miracle that I am alive and that a quintuple bypass will be required for my continued survival. If surgery were needed, I would beg them to also liposuction out as much fat as they feel comfortable taking. Lord, I can only imagine what it would feel like to suddenly be a hundred or more pounds lighter. Heavenly, I'm sure.

Camping out at the airport

2008-07-05T04:26:00.001-07:00

Camping out at the airport Hampton. This day has been way too long.

EDIT: Okay, so here's the full tale. We had to take Savannah to the Knoxville airport so that she would be there at 6, an hour before her 7 AM flight. (I know, right, why don't they just say "be there at six". Who knows.) So we leave here at 4 AM. This is torturous. I fall asleep many times on the way over there. Luckily, I am a good sleep driver. Finally, we get there, just in time for her to miss her flight. She has to pay $25 to get one an hour later. We grab some McDonald's breakfast, the McDonald's is right next to a Hampton Inn, and I realize there is no way I am driving back home in the condition I'm in. We crash at the Hampton in a $75 room, and sleep until 1:23.

So when I say the day was way too long, I mean it was too long.

2008-07-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

I've been watching a lot of Burn Notice lately. It's one of those shows that I always knew I would enjoy watching, but just didn't feel like getting into it. I've been trying to get past that recently. For instance, when the new show In Plain Sight sounded good to me, I set the DVR to begin catching episodes of it.

I haven't watched any of the episodes yet, but hey. Baby steps.

2008-07-03T18:09:00.000-07:00

Wow. I just saw Law & Order's Mariska Hargitay on Seinfeld, playing a very sexy actress auditioning for the part of Elaine. Such a lovely woman.

Carbonfizz

2008-07-03T15:24:00.000-07:00

I spent about six hours on this picture. The guy who bought it got a pretty good deal for the $40 dollars he paid. I'm considering raising my prices!

(>:D)

2008-07-03T09:04:00.000-07:00

deviantART wouldn't let me name this piece (>:D) , so instead it is simply called "Boo". How boring.

I also finished this portrait of the Mongolian death worm.

Off to see Kung-Fu Panda.

2008-07-02T15:11:00.001-07:00

Off to see Kung Fu Panda. I have reserved optimism regarding how much I will enjoy it.

EDIT: So I just got done with Kung Fu Panda. I went into it expecting a pretty good movie - like a Shrek sequel - but what I got was blown away. Graphically pleasing in its every nuance, this movie could be viewed time and time again and still have something for you every time. I wanted to watch it again as soon as it was over, and I don't know what movie has ever done that for me in the past.

My rating stands at 9.5 - the only thing keeping it from a perfect ten being one scene that I thought could have been done slightly better. In point of fact, the scene may have been done that way, but lacked clarification on whether or not it happened. Clarifying it may have made it too much for kids. I dunno. Whatever the case, the movie is a masterpiece. Let's hope it does not get driven into the ground with endless sequels and an animated series.

Electron Ramsey

2008-06-29T16:09:00.000-07:00

This is the third official picture I've done of Electron Ramsey. The third unofficial one was on the Snipe Sketch oekaki. The second one is the one labeled "Electron Ramsey 1999", and the first one is no good. Anyways, I didn't name this one "Electron Ramsey 3" because I didn't want people to think it was the third incarnation of the character. There is only one.

One of the iconic superheroes of Snipe Hunt Media's premiere super-team, the American Furies. According to the Furies' public relations information packet, Electron Ramsey took over the mantle of leadership after the death of the team's original leader, Anthem. The origin of his powers are shrouded in mystery, but many think he channels his powers from the thunder gods of old. He seems to have an inexhaustible supply of electrical energy, which he uses to protect the innocent and uphold the law.

Ugly little spud, isn't he?

2008-06-28T16:23:00.000-07:00

For whatever reason - we'll assume Replay infected me with something, somehow - when I got home, this fellow came out of my arm and into the tablet. As the sketching commenced, I already had in mind what kind of highlights and transparencies I would want to do later on in the process.

I think I may do a whole series like this, with other ghosts like Haunter and Misdreavus. Suggestions are welcome.

Home again, home again, jiggity jog

2008-06-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

After a grueling sixteen-hour drive, I am back home at my terrible desk. Ten pounds heavier, a little more tan, and with some dark roots showing under my way-too-blonde hair.

I can't blame Booyah's mother entirely for the weight gain; I think I must have grown some muscles in the pool, as I now have some extra energy for simple things like reaching the fan switch from the toilet. Normally this would have taken a great deal of effort, and I might have cried a little.

My awful neighbors were evicted while I was gone, and now I have a nice view to the much nicer trailer that was on the other side of them. It's like a little intangible gift.

2008-06-28T08:07:00.001-07:00

The TV at breakfast shows me CBS's Saturday morning fare, and, by extension, everything that is wrong with the world.

2008-06-27T23:17:00.001-07:00

Bedding down at the Hampton Inn in Mt. Juliet. Lovely town. Taco Bell for dinner marks the end of a long day.

WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA

2008-06-26T13:22:00.000-07:00

The time, it does fly.

2008-06-23T15:32:00.001-07:00

Snipe Cons pass all too quickly, but I've had fun during this one. Here's some bullet points:

Got a Deoxys for my Pokémon game at the GameStop this weekend.
Finished principle photography for two Snipe Hunt videos.
Ate many a food at many a place and in many a variety.
Went on a night time adventure to find a Kinko's...
... only to discover that what we needed to copy was left at home.
Got to meet my old friend Replay, outside of his native England for his first trip to the U.S.
Placed second in a Super Smash Bros. Brawl tournament.
Placed second in the Snipe Hunt Invitational Trivia Exposition.

And fulfilled my outlandish promise to stay in the swimming pool all night long. (I get to swim so rarely.) Pretty soon I have to hit the old dusty trail, where my plump leg will cause me no end of troubles. Maybe some day I will start using airplanes, but probably not.

Arf arf

2008-06-21T14:42:00.000-07:00

Dallas's China Town is really something. Earlier, I saw a motorcycle with two wheels in front - no photo, sorry. Enjoy a temple dog, instead.

Hangin' with Mister Booper

2008-06-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

Just killin' some time with Booyah while we wait for Bravo Team to get back from GameStop.

Congrabulations! I grabulated!

2008-06-18T11:31:00.001-07:00

Booyah got all the Snipe Con 2008 attendees a gift. Mine was a giant framed diploma from Danger Laboratories. He said it was all well and good for me to give diplomas to other people, but who would give one to me? I think he solved the mystery handily, and I will look forward to hanging this at home.

Pay no attention to my wife's be-pajamaed legs in the reflection.

Crashed into front of house,

2008-06-14T19:20:00.001-07:00

Crashed into front of house, landed in dining room. Presented with plate of fried fish for my efforts. All worth it.

A little ways outside Little

2008-06-14T13:57:00.001-07:00

A little ways outside Little Rock, we stop for sunglasses, postcards, and 3 different flavors of Mountain Dew.

Traffic slowed to a crawl

2008-06-14T08:37:00.001-07:00

Traffic slowed to a crawl at mile marker 220 for seemingly no reason... I prefer night driving.

I drove 17 extra miles

2008-06-14T07:44:00.001-07:00

I drove 17 extra miles to get to a Hampton Inn after I got tired last night. Is so worth it.

The moon does not shine

2008-06-13T23:20:00.001-07:00

The moon does not shine bright over Lebanon tonight, but I'm stoppan here anyways.

Grabbing some McDonald's at Strawberry

2008-06-13T20:32:00.001-07:00

Grabbing some McDonald's at Strawberry Plains.

2008-06-13T18:57:00.000-07:00

That damn battery light has

2008-06-13T18:43:00.001-07:00

That damn battery light has come on again in the car, after they said they fixed what was causing it. D:<

Parked at Mom's; boy, am

2008-06-13T18:30:00.001-07:00

Parked at Mom's; boy, am I hungry! Trying to stave off eating until I'm completely ravenous... which may be right now...

Headed out! We'll see the

2008-06-13T17:52:00.001-07:00

Headed out! We'll see the total travel time based on my bloggan time stamps. End transmission. Bwoop!

One quick note

2008-06-13T15:57:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else as pissed off as I am at the extremely shitty way DVDs are packaged these days? The stupid-ass security tape on the top of the DVD either leaves gluey residue, tears off the top of the paper insert, or both. If that wasn't bad enough, they seem to (apparently) glue the cellophane that wraps the entire thing to the spine of the DVD. Infuriating. You can never get it all off. It is getting to the point where I need to just buy a clean, empty DVD case every time I buy a DVD, to transfer the salvageable parts of the new DVD into.

HITTAN THE BRI/x/

2008-06-13T15:43:00.000-07:00

Well, in an hour or so I hope to be out the door and on the road. Got to stop at Mom's house to do some upkeep, and then it's down the Interstate we go.

I don't guess we're printing out directions; we'll just let the TomTom do all the work. He sometimes makes some unwise decisions, but he got us there last time.

The MAX Virus puppet is about 75% done at this point. Basically what that means is that he's done enough for us to take him on the road and finish him up at Casa de Booyah. I hope to get some good videos made with him, as it has been too long since the video aspect of the "media" at Snipe Hunt Media has been addressed.

Bleached my hair for the con... bleached it a little too well. Now I sort of look like I've been electrified. If I get out in the sunlight, I will probably look like some kind of fat angel with a corona of yellow plasma radiating from his head. Perhaps wearing goggles or sunglasses on my forehead will lessen the effect.

Was hoping to finish Snipe Hunt! #2 before leaving, but I reckon it ain't meant to be. Oh well, there's always time when I get back.

GRINDAN GAEMS

2008-06-13T11:27:00.001-07:00

The aforementioned Daimyo is now two for two in Alterac Valley wins. He had nothing to do with them, mind you, but it's still a good spread.

EDIT: Three for three. Now that the initial quests are getting out of the way, I was able to be of some use in Drek'thar's chamber. I also got my [Stormpike Insignia Rank 2].

EDIT: Four for four.

EDIT: Five for five. I'll stop updating at this point. Just continue to assume that the Alliance is unstoppable.

MEATAN GAEMS

2008-06-12T22:59:00.001-07:00

It's good to know where the meat is.

PHONE-BLOGGAN GAEMS

2008-06-10T16:25:00.000-07:00

Daimyo - Level 48 Draenei Priest

BLOGGAN GAEMS

2008-06-10T15:59:00.001-07:00

Well, what can I say. The Lord knows I love Google, and as soon as I learned that Blogger was a facet of that golden company, I knew I had to get one for myself.

Now, I've always been a LiveJournal man. No muss, no fuss. And who wants to try to make all of one's friends migrate over to another blogging service? Regardless, after some research into the process of posting updates from the road for the upcoming Snipe Con 2008 road trip, Blogger was the man of the hour. So here we are.